Juno & Sweeney Todd

Neither Juno nor Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street are much good. Both films are so high concept I can hear the pitches ...

• Juno: “an 'indie' comedy where a teenage girl with a strong mind and a dry wit gets pregnant—laughter and touching moments ensue."
• Sweeney Todd: “Johnny Depp has killer hair (hah!), again," or perhaps "a hair raising (hah!) tragi-comic musical."

Not much is made of what must have seemed amazing scripts. At least both films feel like they're trying to be something interesting, partial credit for effort. However, both films are still Hollywood product trying not to be. Juno is as independent as post-Nike acquisition Converse, and Sweeney Todd is as goth as Hot Topic. The fact that I know exactly what brands to assign to these films clues us into how purely they are each aimed at a specific style. It's all there in the clothes.

Neither film, for being so dependent on music, really works with its music. Sweeney Todd just has too much of Johnny Depp singing—I like my musicals musical. Juno lacks an ear in a different way. For example, there is a sound montage near the beginning of Juno that uses about five different songs in less than three minutes—it's confusing and manipulative. The soundtrack to Juno uses some excellent artists, but they crutch up the plot too much and none of their edge is present in Juno, especially my beloved Sonic Youth.

The acting in both Juno and Sweeney Todd is competent, but never good. Michael Cera was way, way better in Arrested Development, and I'm pretty sure Ellen Page has more in her than this. As for Sweeney Todd, what's going on with Johnny Depp anyway? I can tell he's hungry for something great, something immortal. I think he just needs the right director. After Edward Scissor Hands, it seemed like that director might have been Tim Burton, but that's not turning out to be the case. (In Sweeney Todd, after all, characterization is mostly left to an actors hair—ineffective, however befitting the subject matter.) Johnny Depp needs someone to do for him what Wes Anderson did for Bill Murray. I would advise Helena Bonham Carter similarly, as in Sweeney Todd she retreats from the grandeur she displayed in Fight Club and Big Fish or her flirtatious elegance in Conversations with Other Women into mere likeability.